Tag Archives: guys

Relationship Rants #3

11 Mar

The other day I was walking from the post office located near Times Square. I’ll admit, I was looking a bit cute that day. I had on some blue fitted jeans, 2 inch knee high brown boots, my Miss Sixty coat (the one with the peacock pleats in the back that make the booty look a lil bit perky). I was also sporting a brand new short hair cut (thanks Rihanna).

Anyway enough about me… It was about 5:30pm and I was headed back to the plantation work. Men smiled and said good evening as I ‘click clacked’ my heels on the pavement. As you may know Times Square is FULL of tourists. This guy wearing a huge back pack and carrying a train map and a duffle bag makes a bee line and starts walking along side of me. I thought ‘poor thing…lost in the big city, maybe I can help him’. While maintaining my stride I shifted into TomTom mode – giving him my attention – ready to give directions. He mumbles something in an accent. I ask him to repeat. He says to me in broken english…‘I am from France, can we get a coffee?’
At this point I’m shocked to the third power because the conversation didn’t start with:
1. ‘Ayo shorty…can I talk to you for a second’
2. ‘Can I get your number? [Oh right I am a complete stranger] Ok take mine.’
3. ‘Is your man treating you right?’

Man, is this how they holla in France? If so i’ll move there ASAP. I declined the coffee although he seemed sincere. Chances are, the minute I looked away from my starbucks latte, he would’ve dropped something in it and I would’ve woken up in the Matrix. Its was nice though, maybe i’ll see him if I take a trip to Paris. Oui!Oui!

(photo by malias)

Relationship Rants #2

11 Mar

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There were two incidents where after a dude has broken up with me, I ran into them in the street. I either ignored them or just didn’t see them. Both times dude comes up to me and says, “Why you act like you don’t know me.”

::PAUSE::

WHYYYYY? We didn’t have a mutual break-up. YOU disappeared. I called several times, emailed, texted…and no response. WTF you MEAN ‘Why you act like you don’t know me?

Typical Questions from them:

Can I get a Hug?’. H-E-L-L- Noooooooooo.

‘What you been up to?’ Why do you want to know? Dating other people!

‘We should talk…’ You meannnn you want to beat.

‘Let’s go get a bite to eat at…’ Whoa…look at the time, I’m going to miss my…nap

They are out of their flipping minds. I try to be as cordial as possible, but don’t friggin come up to me like nothing happened. This isn’t MIB. That flashy thing that makes you forget doesn’t exist…The only flash you’ll see are the flames coming out my kicks as I run as fast as I can, away from you.

(photo by:bored-now)

Relationship Rants #1

7 Mar

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In my day, I’ve dealt with a lot of males who’ve made generalizations and assumptions about me and ruining a relationship with potential. Here are a few of these assumptions AND my disputes:

Im a gold digger…Their wallet isn’t safe.
Ummmm first of all, not every woman is a gold digger. Like most independent women, I make my own money (and have been making my own money long before we met). To be quite honest, I’ve never dreamed about living off of my future steadman or husband’s money. In fact, in my dreams, my husband/steadman’s salary, will be donated to charity because on the real…we can do with out it.

If you dont have a dope car, I wont mess with you.
Sometimes when I meet guys, they immediately start making excuses about their car. A lot of tmes they begin the apologies before I even see the vehicle. Again, please re-read point #1. I dont care what YOU drive, as long as what I drive is slick, black, and has the name of a monthly piano player (MAYbach). Chances are…I bought it myself too.

I will try to make him look ignorant/uneducated because I graduated from college…twice.
Again. No. I’m proud of my accomplishments but my humility causes me to never, Ever bring it up in conversation. With that being the case – you’ll make yourself look STUPID if we get in an argument and the words ” You think just because you have a masters…” comes out your mouth. My degrees has nothing to do with the normal, everyday, common sense that everyone should have. My degrees also have nothing to do with the relationship between you and I. Basically, if you mention it for no reason, that means you’re hating on me…undercover.

I cant be in your life long term (wifed) because I cant cook
Wrong, its not that I cant cook…its that I wont. We’re in a recession dear. I’m doing my best to help the Obama administration in the area of  ‘Job Creation.’ I’ll hire someone to cook.

Because I dont cook I need to be TAUGHT how to be a good Oprah/wife.
I’m tired of men believing they are professors. I need not be taught how to be a better me. People in a relationship are supposed to both be complements and supplements to each other. You cannot mold me into …your mom or the “perfect” girlfriend. If you feel the need to rennovate me…do me a favor and leave me.

Beware of the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend…

4 Mar

I had an epiphany the other day that explained a lot of the strange occurrences that were happening in my past relationships and some of my girlfriend’s current situationships (thats what we’ll call them for now). I think most woman know what I’m talking about. That girl that seems to be baggage in your man’s life. She pops up and does off the wall shit and he easily dismisses her as the “Crazy Ex”. Well ladies, Beware!! Proceed with Caution!!! Slow down, road block ahead and all that jazz. I have heard, from The Source aka a man, that this may be a bold face lie. If it is not a lie, there is definitely something else going on, and it is not as simple as some girl that has gone off her rocker. Therefore, here are three reason why a guy may have Crazy-Ex girlfriend Syndrome:

1. He is actually cheating on you and the jump-off has overstepped her boundaries.

In this situation, she may be calling you, writing you emails, accusing him of cheating, stalking and/or threatening you. In this situation, the female is most confidently passed off as the Crazy Ex because it stands to reason that no sane woman would go through all of this childish behavior. You may even feel the need to protect him from this deranged woman. Also note that he may use this as a preemptive measure just incase he foresees his side piece getting out of hand. No cure for this one, just leave him alone.

Example: Jump-off (JO) breaks into man’s apartment with Man and Girlfriend. JO says “Who is this B**** you sleeping with!” Man says “she is just a psycho ex-girlfriend”. Girlfriend takes out an order of protection for JO. As of today- Man is still with JO AND Girlfriend.

2. She really is a little off because of their past relationship and his ill decisions.

This can mean double trouble for you. Not only do you have a female that is storming in on your relationship, but you have a man that is stepping all over you. What he did to the other woman, he is bound to do to you. Sooner or later his whacked out tendencies will emerge and his twisted ways will start to get all wrapped up in your business and then it will be a hot ass stinking mess. Bottom line is, he did something to her that wasn’t cool and if she feels comfortable enough to stay all up in his business its probably because he is giving her access. In this situation, tread the waters lightly, if at all. Ask a lot of questions and if the situation does not add up, go with your gut feeling. If he feels strongly connected to you and wants the relationship to work, he will be a man and cut off the dead weight.

3. He actually has a demented ex-girlfriend.

Highly unlikely. Think about it, at the end of the day, you can always change your number, not respond to their text messages or emails or voicemail. There is a lot that can be done so that the only one going through changes is the ex-girlfriend.

I really hate when guys….

2 Mar

I really hate when guys have their ‘boy’ come up to you for them. Honestly? You’e a grown man, you’re not in junior high- grow a pair. And all too often it’s when they’re employees of a bar or club, or they’re just IN a bar or club….as if the proximity is all too much, the lame has to have someone else break the ice for him – not sexy.

Is having a “baby” the new pick up line?

27 Feb

In the whole scheme of things he was cute and really attractive, until the unfaithful moment he opened his mouth. He looked me dead in the eyes with the big browns of his and said ” do you have a baby? want one”. Is this a pick up line?

ladies if i’ve been misinformed, please let me know!

how to let him down easy.

26 Feb

I received an instant message from a friend last night:

“what’s a nice way to let someone  down? lol”

Most of us are sweet girls (some of us not so sweet haha), and don’t have the mind to hurt someone’s feelings. Here’s a few suggestions:

  • “its not you, its me” : the oldest cop out in the book. Let him know that it’s not him in a sense, you just have a lot on your plate right now and are focusing on yourself. Most people understand that.
  • “i’m not ready for anything right now” : also another classic cop out. Tell him you just got out of a long/bad relationship and you’re not ready for anything at the moment.
  • “my pet goldfish just died and I’m traumatized by the loss” : you couldn’t possibly bear to commit to anyone right now. You’re still too hurt by Goldie’s exit. (hahah okay, that was a bad one).

Those are just a few to get you started. Anymore suggestions ladies?