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Hey Baby?

14 Jun

We all know the set – up. It’s been a long day at work and all you want to do is run home and kick your feet up. Your hair is a mess and you are exhausted. Then you hear it:

Pssst. ‘Scuse me Miss, can I talk to you for a minute?”

Or you’re on the way to the supermarket for some milk, and you walk through a crowd of men and you can feel the five sets of eyes run up and down every curve and crevice of your frame.

This show has been going on forever, but now women are speaking up about it. Men are becoming more and more disrespectful while women are becoming less and less patient.

I ran into this article from The New York Times. It’s a video game review for a game called Hey Baby. This game is a basic spinoff of any shooting game at a movie theater, where men approach you and say a bevy of things – from semi-sweet to absolutely obscene. You can either shower them with love or shoot them. A bit extreme, the bigger picture here is that women are so overwhelmed daily with the snide remarks and men. The game is very creepy, so play at your own risk.

More seriously, though, a friend of mine posted a link on Facebook the other day about a documentary by Tracey Rose specifically about Black women walking down the street. I was just discussing this with my boyfriend the other day – about how much I hate walking down the street – so I find this documentary incredibly interesting.

How do you ladies feel about this? Men, care to defend yourselves?


Holding on to Exes – No EXcuses!

11 Jun

I am the queen of befriending my ex-boyfriends. For some reason, even if we end on bad terms, I find a way to be amicable. Maybe I am the bigger man and I know how to move on smoothly. Or maybe I was never in love with them in the first place, making it easy to detach myself from the relationship once it’s over.

LOVE (or luv or luh, or whatever you want to use) is a word that is tossed around so often, it loses its meaning – and quickly. But at the time, the situation I was in was love – or what I thought it was at that stage in my life. I think now that I am in a relationship where I am experiencing true love, I can take each ex for who they were and what they contributed to my life and keep them as friends.

How do you feel about this? Can you be friends with exes? How do you feel about your current beau being friends with an ex? I want to know it all!

Cheek’d Beta Launches – New Online Dating Game for the Coquette in You

28 May

Clever new dating website, Cheek’d allows you to play a real life game of “cat and mouse”.  After all, the best part about dating is the chase..

The user is armed with a set of intriguing black cards, with coy phrases like “I just put all my drinks on your tab” and “act natural, we can get awkward later” to slip in the pockets of the one she desires, but is either too shy or a bit too mischievous. The recipient is given directions to enter an unique code to unlock the mysterious admirer’s profile on the website, where he can contact her discreetly.

A set of 50 cards and one month’s subscription is $25, and should you choose to continue the service, only $9.95 each month thereafter.

Cheek’d is the brainchild of NYC entrepreneur, Lori Cheek, helping connect users to their love interests and avoiding missed connections.

8 Signs He’ll Be Bad in Bed

3 May

Whilst perusing the internet, I came upon this interesting and extremely scientific set of data regarding how a man will shape up in the sack.  Here is the list, compliments of, with my own interpretations and addons. Very valid points, thanks Amelia.

We suppose this would be considered NSFW, use your better judgement…

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Tiger Woods…Kobe Woods…BRAVO!

28 Dec

Tiger Woods. Kobe Woods. Allegedly, Shaq Woods. Allegedly, Dwayne Wade Woods. Allegedly [some dude you know] Woods. The list continues. As woman after woman comes out of the wood works (pun intended), I can’t help but think about how all these star’s wives feel. After reading the post below, “51 things you should know before you get engaged,” I feel like…it doesn’t matter how much you know about your fiance…

The ENTIRE male species is full of GREAT actors. MY GOODNESS. Don’t get me wrong, women cheat. But men, only men can cheat, with very little motivation. Wife stays home, wife takes care of the children, wife cooks, wife cleans, yep…I got it alllllllll – except shorty right there. As if the lack of drama forces them to make drama. Continue reading

When It’s Okay to Fade Away

12 Oct

Lately I find myself listening to Ne-yo’s “Fade Into the Background” more and more.  You know, another love song about how he’s lost the love of his life to someone else because he effed up royally.  Now, I didn’t really bother with “Year of the Gentleman” until this year, though I had heard the song in question once or twice before.  But timing is everything.

A few weeks back  I had “Fade Into the Background” on repeat during a melancholy mood.  “That song is so depressing!” a friend remarked.  “No,” I said “it’s honest and necessary.”  Though their relationship was a total fail, Ne-yo’s song is about being a man and finally accepting (and taking responsibility for) the pair’s outcome.

Not easy.

It wasn’t until the ten millioneth time I heard the song this week that it became completely clear to me: this song’s not just totally painful and masochistic, it’s a necessary evil for him, it’s coderizing the wound.  Sometimes it takes that great shocking moment to put it all behind you and carry on.  Too often people (by people I almost wholly mean women) cling to the droplets of memory that truly belong to someone else – your past self.  It seems a little over dramatic and mentally ill to attend your ex’s wedding to another but it’s what was needed, at least figuratively.  Speaking from personal experience, there’s a shred of hope that you can hold for a long, long time that the one you love will prove you wrong; he’ll prove me wrong. He will admit his faults and shortcomings and will need you back.  Little do we realize that holding this tattered dream can be more harmful than some of his errs against us.

While real life’s not as beautifully and melodically organized as song, anyone can identify with the dual sides of Ne-yo’s cry: He – he has to once and for all acknowledge she’s moved and be content with fading away, to become a solid part of her past and fully move into his future; She – she is moving on with the RIGHT man, a decision she’s capable of only because she’s already made the decision to fade away from her old lover and can still offer him a smile. Dual sides of the song offer valuable insight and advice.  Ladies, be that bride.

WE Channel’s Wedding Central Presents…

21 Aug

If you all can remember, I am slightly obsessed with all things bridal. My Sundays are dedicated to WE Channel’s Bridezillas, My Fair Wedding, Rich Bride Poor Bride, etc etc. So when my beau sent me this e-mail I was more than happy to find that…

WE's Wedding Central

Yes, WE Channel has created a new station dedicated to their Wedding Central sector. Available on io Channel 177, shows like Bridezillas, My Fair Wedding with David Tutera, Rich Bride Poor Bride and Platinum Weddings are on 24/7. Now I can watch some of my favorite shows whenever I want! Yessss!

Love CAN be Magic…

30 May

Love can be magic…and magic is most often an illusion.

Contrary to what the title might suggest I am not a cynic about love (or much of anything else for that matter). Neither am I insanely optimistic about love. I am married  for  just  over a year  now and  I was thoroughly embarrassed when  my husband and I had our first post marital  argument. I was under the impression that we were supposed to be stupid with love and cross eyed with lust for at least 2 years…shooooot… I got a month before he got on my damn nerve! (That’s a generous estimate), I mean tap danced on my last good reserve nerve! (The one I saved for long winded cousins who call me from down south to talk about nothing for hours and then get to the good stuff 2 minutes before they hang up!). But truth be told, my husband and I had been through so much before the wedding that we looped right back around on the crazy train and fell in love again. I had no illusions about what he was or rather who he was. I didn’t marry my husband because he swept me off my feet and gazed lovingly into my eyes and professed to love me until the end of time. No my husband is no black Justin Timberlake. In fact no one could’ve shattered my heart the way that he did…in fact, shattered is putting it mildly. (Why did I get married? Oh yeah…there is a point folks)…

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I’m Recession Cute

11 May

The way to meet guys today is to look “Recession Cute”. Within the last month, I’ve gotten several numbers from very cute men by sporting the items below. I’m almost sure it will work for the rest of you:

DIRTY Turquoise and white (used to be) sneakers

I won’t mention the brand of these darlings, but I bought them in August 2007. After 2 half marathons and miles and miles of training, these suckers can literally have a conversation with me.

Leopard print head tie
So when I go to the gym, I take of my cute little short wig to let it air out and write my head up in a leopard print head tie. WHO KNOWS where this came from. Its one of those things I just found around the house.

Absolut Vodka tee shirt
I’m not sure if the liquor on my shirt is an essential ingredient to the love-sweat potion that drips from my brow, but this tee reels men in like bait in shark infested waters.

DIRTY black or lavender workout pants
People say its my buttocks…I beg to differ because I’ve always had a rather large rear and and still never got the digits until I wore these bad boys. I’m not sure of the brand because they are so watched out that the tags are illegible.

Mustard and Black workout gloves
I have no clothes in mustard so these gloves NEVER match my outfit.

No Make Up
I never wear make-up to the gym…and if I do, its by mistake.

There you go! I call my look “Recession cute”. Wear all of these and you’ll have more men talk to you than ever before!

Yeah I watch B-ball…

6 May


Im sitting here watching my husband (to the rest of the world that would be LeBron James) and the Cavs play against the Atlanta Hawks in the semi-finals.  I don’t watch sports by myself often, but I do favor basketball. The Cavaliers are my favorite team and not much else is on TV: a winning combination for an at-home sports extravaganza. Men love sports like women fancy shopping.  Now I don’t know all the technical terms, plays and shots, but after watching a game or two, I can hold a decent conversation regarding the topic.  I am always intrigued to hear the tone in a man’s voice when he asked the question “You like basketball/ football?”. It is usually of pleasant surprise and rising curiosity about my make-up. I tend to think that men find a woman more attractive if she expresses some interest in sports.  But what if she likes sports ALOT more than him?  What if she yelled over him at the TV and had a mourning period after each loss from her favorite teams.

Do you think her sports fanaticism is a complete turn on for him or a turn off? Wanting to talk is now being replaced with trying to squeeze in to a comfy seat  between him and his buddies during halftime.  Would he embrace this commonality or push away for his “alone time”.  Although I would love for my hubby to accompany me more on my ramped shopping sprees, I don’t know how I would feel if he started directing me to pick different shirts that would show off the pattern in my shoes and nodding to my girlfriends for my their approval.  Might be a little weird…

What are your thoughts on the matter?

Side note: Doesn’t Varejao have the best hair in the NBA!!