Your Shorts are too DAMN short

24 Aug

No. I’m not jealous. I’m not envious of their bodies. I’m not hating on them. This is simply a matter of hygiene.

Photo Credit: Tawny Rockerazzi

Ladies, if you commute via the MTA train system in NYC, PLEASE DON’T WEAR DAISY DUKES! Its disgusting. Especially if you are sitting while riding (no pun intended).
Here is how you know if your shorts are too damn short to ride the train:

  • If I have to shield my eyes because I can see the crease between the back of your upper thigh and rear end – Your shorts are too damn short.
  • If your butt cheek and the train seat make contact – Your shorts are too damn short.
  • If you need to slide over so that someone can sit beside you, but you can’t because the friction between the skin on your backside and the seat is too great – Your shorts are too damn short.
  • If the inside cloth of your back pockets hang lower than the jean fabric of your shorts – Your shorts are too damn short.

I understand we all have a right to look cute. The issue is, you don’t know who or what has been on that train seat. Sitting on the train with daisy dukes leaves you vulnerable to any little germs that can crawl up in your [helloooo]! Also, I don’t know where you’ve been and I don’t want to know where you’re going. I don’t want you to leave a trail on the train seat so I can find you! Feel me?

Ugh.

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One Response to “Your Shorts are too DAMN short”

  1. Camille August 24, 2010 at 2:46 PM #

    I think you read my mind. I’m always seeing the crease of someone’s butt cheek or their front pockets hanging from under their shorts. It’s senseless. But these rules should also be applied to girls who wear mini-skirts and mini-dresses. I’ve seen too many of them bending over and showing their business. If I’m not your gynocologist, I don’t need to see all that.

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